Decision and Commitment

Have you ever had huge decisions in your life that you just left in God’s hands? I mean the ones that you decided inaction would produce the best result? How did it actually work out for you?
In the past year I have become more comfortable with tackling big decisions head on. One of the most difficult decisions that I have had to make is whether or not to be super popular amongst my peers or be an achieving, growing, business man. This may not be the case for everyone but as Michael Dell says, “The approval of others is a thing of the past”. I know that I have chosen the path of most resistance by choosing to grow and achieve but guess what? I made the decision.
This is just one example of things I have faced and gone through as a result of decisions I’ve made. I am happier that I made them because it had to be decided. When I actually realized that my decisions were COMMITMENTS, I know scary word, there was simply no going back. The next thing to do is to learn how to deal with your commitments. For example as a result of my decision above I have had some bad things said about me or even some sabotage in business or in life. At first it bothered me but now that I am conscious to what is happening and know what it’s about it has become easier to deal with to the extent that it doesn’t strip me of my energy to do good things for others that I care about much more.
The best part about becoming a decision maker is that it sets you apart as a leader in your industry or life. From the simplest things it can work. Try going out to dinner one night and instead of asking what everyone wants to eat just pick a place and go. The controversy almost does not exist. Plus when you decide, it only takes the energy of one instead of many. You are also not subject to multiple moods, attitudes, etc.
I know this is a simple example, but I have a challenge for you today. You know that thing that consumes you and has been eating at you that you have put off for no reason? The thing that is robbing you of energy and all it takes is for you to make a decision and commit to do it? I challenge you to make that decision today. Tell whomever you need to tell. If it does not involve someone and is a decision for you then just decide to do it and abandon all escape hatches. Push through the mud and design it. Just a warning it can change and expand your life in ways that you cannot imagine.

Emotional Altitude

Lately I’ve really come to understand how much of an emotional challenge I have been going through. The difficult part comes from the battle that goes on in me. I am always ready for a challenge but I look to the things that now define me. For instance I am not a naturally patient person. Big surprise to those that know me well but I had to learn patience. I never thought it was possible learning a character trait but I am way more patient today because I know the importance and I have self-control. I am also a procrastinator or to be more positive, not a natural self-starter. However I manage to get more productive activity done then most.
The challenge I am having is ongoing and deep seated emotional. It has to do with the most important person in my life. I understand that tests are put in place to stretch and grow just like the things I’ve learned above but sometimes it’s just difficult. Can you relate at all? I mean there are days when I wonder why I have to be the light and somehow I just am the light. By light I mean shining care and patience and persistence on people, loving, leading, forgiving and hopeful of all that is. I know that struggles get to me and everyone else. I am always looking to get above them, to get above the flood of human emotion and thrive.
I like to think of my challenges as chances to move up. There’s a ladder of life that keeps me moving above the flood. If you picture a ladder or a mountain or something where true accomplishment comes from the ascent you can sometimes see the problem below you and a possible solution. There are times when the problem is truly above you and you have to climb. Really dig in and pull or push upward just a little. I am finding that the more I climb up even though it feels like someone is pulling on my legs there are times when I can easily move up two or three more steps. It feels intense and right now being in it, it is hard to write this but it gives me strength. The greatest triumph is when a new situation comes along and I am already above or bigger than the challenge.
Your emotional altitude and aptitude is always a distance up. There are controlled moments, week moments and moments of absolute triumph that come from all the rungs you’ve climbed below you. Leaning in to those moments when you beat defeat, striving for the uncertain thing and leaning into whatever strength you could muster just to get through or to thrive are all huge parts of emotional altitude. The times where you were tired and frustrated but still pushed through it built bigger muscles in you today.
I wish that everyone could be strong in this economy but the truth is that will not happen overnight. I am dedicated to this build and to the gratitude and blessings this life as given me. I don’t always put them in the front of my challenges and obstacles but when I catch myself slipping down a rung or two I quickly recognize and adjust. I am so grateful for the emotional stability and altitude that comes from my family, close friends and support structure. I thank you for your unique contributions to my life and want to give more and more back every day. How do you thrive day to day? What do you do that helps you push upward and onward? Thank you for reading.

Focusing on Starts

First, Happy New Year! You made it through the first decade of the 21st century and what was to be a rapidly changing but eventful last 5 years. The stories, the plans, the disappointments, the victories are all in the past and we are forging an even greater 10 years ahead. Or are we??
Rolling into 2010 was most likely not like partying 1999 style. There were significant concerns for some. There are people that are conflicted about things in their life whether it was job loss, relationship loss, tragedy but for me the conflict was different. Of course there is a portion of some of the previous things that are still going on, but I had big personal growth goals that were put on the back burner. I guess it would be self-management. But what does that truly mean?
There are people and places in life that would tell you that focusing on yourself is greedy or selfish, conceited etc. There are just so many forms of focusing on you that get lost in the cultures perspective. Believe it or not the 80 or most likely 95% of the cultures pull is pulling down. It is a large group conflicted constantly by the way the world is treating them. It is not a culture generally focused on mastery of themselves or anything else. So how do you work on mastering yourself?
What I am committed to this year and beyond is focusing on starts. My brain can quickly turn into a heated engine of instant problem solving and intensity. We have adapted to the philosophy that all must be well and that simply is not true. Have you ever heard the expression if everything is important nothing is? That is true now more than ever in my lifetime and it’s time for us to schedule our priorities. This part isn’t new information it’s fundamental. There is no “fun” in fundamental so we simply don’t do it. Here’s the trick to scheduling and managing you; Do it especially when every part of your being is completely bored and tired of doing it. Recognize and make a habit of recognizing when you are adapting to your old ways and push through the pain. When it sucks ask yourself is it working not do I enjoy this task because if it’s working you will have more joy. No matter what it is your doing, working out, running a business, reconnecting relationships, planning your time (big one), saving for your future etc.
The art of focusing on starts is that you have to get it in motion. I am naturally not a self-starter, they used to call it procrastinator but we were all getting offended so someone else did something about it. When you focus on the starts that matter and you take that start into momentum, you become free. Momentum, however, is like riding a wave with some rough seas. As soon as we get distracted by let’s say the culture or ourselves we jump off the wave.
Momentum is way easier to control then starting. I speak from experience. So, when I am outlining my goals, not resolutions, for the year I want to focus on starts. Starting the important thing should be first. What is it that keeps getting postponed that will not only make a difference in your life for the positive but stretch you and grow you beyond the imaginable? What one action step can you take to pursue the very dream that you’re avoiding? You see, the start has to occur. It’s the biggest step towards living I know. Sometimes a very hard decision has to be made in order to get the ball rolling. Maybe someone will be hurt by your decision or money will be lost? The hardest bullet to swallow is one that separates you from your immediate surroundings or makes you uncomfortable so why not be deliberate? Why not be intentional about the why it’s necessary to make that critical move forward?
We as humans live our life in the avoidance of pain not the pursuit of pleasure. Our culture paints greed as the reason we pursue our dreams. We may have someone that we love telling us we are greedy for trying to create passion and a better life. You may have someone like that right now. Today’s dreamer, given the right tools, could be dangerous in a good way! If you have an idea that you are passionate about do it! If you have a relationship that has been rocky start whatever needs to be done. Whatever it is that keeps you up, just begin. The only life I’m positive we all have is this one. How will you start something today that makes you happy to be alive?
Happy New Year… and all the best to your new decade and new chance to make it all you want it to be!
Thanks for reading.

Living With Intention!

In the past few days I have started going through a plan called “Design your best year ever” by Darren Hardy. What an amazing outline. It has interviews and takes you through a planning structure for life and not only business.
When I first looked at this workbook I thought about how much work and time it would be to commit to. I mean planning and diligence takes a boat load of time and effort. I’m convinced that it is why it is not done very often. I know, I live in California, we are not planners, right? We kind of go with life’s flow and long term planning is often times where we are eating for dinner that night. But seriously, commitment to a well designed life and plan is what makes the difference.
Think about this for a moment. In 1999 we were bringing in a new MILLINEUM! We all seemed so excited to close the chapters of the 1900s and be the beginning of history for the 2000+ crowd. I can’t believe my own daughter was born in 2005???
I know for a fact I did not live the last 10 years by design. Don’t get me wrong some amazing things occurred and lessons and mistakes that have shaped me into who I am now. There is just something a lot different about me as I go through this book and think of the possibilities of how the last 10 years would have turned out if I just took some time to really manifest all it could be? Not dwell on it just reshape it into elements of what I could have controlled or designed better. I would say also to celebrate the really great decisions and moments that shaped you and set you up for the tremendous opportunities life has in store for you in 2010.
One of the first things I am continuously dedicated to is learning to truly live without the need for approval from others. I am intentional about thinking my decisions through while making sure I am not making a decision just so another person will approve of me. This has been an exercise in itself. Another shift is making sure that my goals are really MY goals. I think goals with your spouse and kids are super important, however I think we are all separate human beings that have original goals to explore. God didn’t give us our own talents so that we can simply rest on them. It’s our duty to use our own and combine them with others to maximize their potential. I know I have messed this up before and will constantly strive to understand and enhance my strengths in this area.
See, the truth is living a life of intention can look like hard work. We put habits in place to do this without thinking and it naturally eliminates that thought in a lot of ways. You have enough time to develop that habit before the new decade starts. Whatever has happened this year or last or even the last ten, it is time to let go. This is a fresh start on a new perspective. It’s like a new chance to do whatever you want. The world is opening up in your favor!
I heard this great story from someone close to me. When her son was younger and he would be upset about something, like all great mothers, she could tell. She told me that she would go and pick him up, sit him on her lap and imagine putting whatever the struggle or challenge was in a bubble in the palm of his hand. Together they would blow the bubble away and her son would smile.
This last ten years is a giant bubble of time. A time where we chose to do what we wanted or a choice was made for us. Who is choosing your next decade? Where do you want to go? How will you get there? Together lets blow the bubble of the past away and create a new future of honor and legacy for everyone. Who is dedicated to living, working and playing with intention in the next ten? I am looking forward to the experience with you all. Thank you for reading!

Not Without You

I was chatting with my friend Dan from Santa Barbara tonight and both of us have had some challenges this year. We were talking about the development of momentum and recognizing when you are in it. There’s a beautiful thing that happens when you have positive momentum in your life. I think it’s the one time when your subconscious mind is grateful. It’s that place that people call “flow” that produces spirit. It’s as if there are no guards to your authenticity and you get to simply “be” in light of all the surrounding stuff.
As we were talking, Dan shared that in the midst of the momentum and good things in his business, something tragic happened to a friend of his. He had taken his own life. Something that brings about thousands of emotions and questions that can never be answered. In the midst of our momentum and working hard and being proud of the things we achieve there are people that are suffering. These people seem so far from us until something happens like this that makes it all too close.
I started to really grasp in our conversation that there was conflict. To be so proud of wrestling your way through an economy that can be a struggle and winning and then to see that the people around us that aren’t doing well and not creating but retreating are inseparable. It’s hard to know what to say or do. It made me think about the people nearest me. The people going through really tough times right now tough times that aren’t merely economic but deeper. Who do I know that needs me to be humble? Who is around me that needs me to listen? Who do I pass every day and say hello to and hope that I am not appearing too busy for? The process really started to weigh heavily on my mind.
Between that story and a story my friend Luz shared with me yesterday about a close friend of hers I really came to realize how tough it CAN be. That no matter what might be frustrating me now that I am a blessed man beyond belief. As I sit here writing this so much gratitude fills my soul. No amount of debt, lack of business, hurtful words, someone’s opinion, ego, attitude or anything else for that matter can take that away. Do you realize how important what you have and who you are is??? I can’t express to you how much the things that we think are important really are not.
I was listening to some audio with Joel Osteen yesterday and he said something really cool. “You are here another day because God has something amazing in mind for you and needs you to listen”. Joel also says, protect yourself from what does not serve and continually prune away those things so that the good and beauty that god creates can shine brighter and bolder. Few of the ways we look at life are real. You have to think about what life would be like without you and the people you love and care about? When did the way we think stop including people and what can we do to make it better from here?
I know I say this a lot but those that know me well know that I care about them. If any of you are reading and don’t feel that way, know that I do. I never want a day to come when someone slips through the cracks of my life. I don’t care about the “something’s”. For those that are reading this and think the show we put on brings people near, please re-evaluate. The times have officially changed for the better. We are more organic and more technological at the same time. We are kind of high-tech farmers at this point and the level of care is increasing. Be part of it, pour in. Life’s getting better and better. How do you keep clear and present so that you can spur momentum daily? Do you have accurate account of the things that are most important to you? Have you ever heard the needs of a person expressed without them actually saying anything? Do you ever think of who would be devastated without you? Thanks for reading and being a part of my life. Please let me know your thoughts. I appreciate you and your feedback!

Karma or Coincidence

Over this last weekend I had a speaking engagement at a prominent seminar for Real Estate Professionals. I was so excited when I left for the event and as usual there was a lot of preparation for the event and then of course travel preparation.
When I leave for these events it’s amazing because I am doing what I love. I have genuine passion for impacting people and it just feels good. Plus there’s a sense of the good energy out to the universe that I strive for every day. My hope is that with all the effort and energy in that at least one person leaves with the good stuff, the plan, the passion for their work that will pay it forward to them and their families long into the future.
My main part of the event was near the late/middle part of the second day. I showed up that morning ready to go then went to lunch. While at lunch my car was towed in an area that it was not supposed to be towed in. Not only that but it cost $352 to get it back. I have never had my car towed before so at first I thought it was stolen. When I found out it was towed I was less angry then I was in a sense of disbelief. It was amazing how many thoughts came into my mind about all the times things like this had happened. The thoughts just kept coming not so much making that present moment worse, but made me question some things.
I started to ask myself, for a moment, if I was on the wrong path. I mean the whole trip was for good. I couldn’t imagine that would be the case. So in usual form I started to look for an explanation. There had to be some other reason.
I started to think about how doing the event was a choice. If not down there I probably would not have gotten my car towed, but I also would not be there to impact anyone. Then I thought about how little this was compared to the many things that could happen to me. Immediately it started to appear better. I then realized that going there in the first place is a tremendous gift. How much I enjoy it even though there is work involved, how valuable and interesting my new relationships will be with these people. All of the lingering good will out-last this little event and in the future will I really remember the situation?
I think sometimes when you put yourself out there the universe tests you out a little. I think it’s important as you grow into your passion and make the most out of it the universe wants to make sure you have grown enough to handle the next wave of good stuff you are about to embark on. Even though it does not feel super good at the time, today I felt great. I knew I had no choice in what did happen and that I have to spend my time and energy on what I can control.
T. Harv Eker, Author of “The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” told a story about a little boy who asked his dad for an ice cream cone. The dad told the boy he could have one scoop of whatever he wanted. When the little boy got his ice cream he dropped the cone accidentally while leaving the ice cream parlor. The boy was upset and asked his dad if he could get another cone. When his dad agreed the boy then asked his dad if this time he could have two scoops. His dad got down on one knee and told the little boy that once he could prove he could handle the one scoop that he would be ready for the second one.
The more I thought about it the more it sounded more like coincidence. It is not a part of me to feel like the universe is intentionally doing me wrong but there are times your thoughts can be dangerous. That’s why I am so intentional about managing myself. I knew once I picked up my car I was going back to finish the event. I was set on proving to the universe that I’m ready for the second scoop. And the results, as planned, were amazing! Is there an event in your life where you set out to do good and come across a challenge that sent you sideways a little? If so I would love to hear how you processed it and pushed through. Thanks for reading!

Moments of Intensity

A weird thing happened in my excercise routine the other day. I was doing crunches, you know the ab excercise, and my abs started to burn. Not a bad burn where I was hurting myself but something in there was going on. I focused on the excercise, literally took my mind and pretended the pain was not there and concentrated on the movement. Within moments the burn went away while I was still doing the same excercise!

I was fascinated that I had pushed through the pain against my body with the use of my mind. I started to think about how my body reacts to moments of internal strain. As it turns out our bodies are made and designed to handle stress. Not high levels as anything that is not good, in large doses, tends to not be good but our bodies are designed to process through sometimes instantly and recover.

One of the ways I counter act bad stress is with good stress. Our bodies release stress as it distributes itself through out the body in many ways. When you stress your body physically stress is released. Not only from your body but as you focus on the actual excercise or mechanics you engage your mind in positive stress.

Now I am no master in managing the intense moments of my life on a consistent basis. I just know that just as a firefighter lights a back fire to control the direction of an oncoming, out of control flame, we can control those moments.

Now just to clarify intensity is not always conscious. For example I have had moments that I don’t outwardly feel stressed but my body is. For example when I have some intensity going on around me my neck will get tense and painful. I may not know exactly what it is that is causing the stress but I know that some sort of therapy to remove the toxins from my mind and body is needed.

For the conscious stresses I simply do my best and forget the rest. I know that I cannot fuel creativity in the office so when really challenged with an intense moment, I get up and I walk outside. I may walk around the building, to my car or just stand, stretch and regroup. What I’ve noticed is that no matter how time sensitive the issue, no matter how outwardly urgent it is, I am no good without being intact. I know when my attitude has been affected the LAST thing I should do is pick up the phone or go talk to someone.

See, in stressfull moments your body and mind need time to reconnect. Have you ever forgotten to breathe? I do it all the time. Just like cardio excercise you have to breathe through the big moments, take inventory of the situation after you are back to a state of creativity and then stress your mind the right way to solve or facilitate a solution. One thing I know is that if it is a big challenge it will be there when you get back. I just want to be here in the future to enjoy all the fruits of my dedication throughout life. It all starts with your recovery in any situation.

So breathe through moments of intensity. Figure out what you need at those times. Maybe bring your ipod to work and listen to some music. Bring some baroque music or classical music to the office, it is proven to help the flow of creativity, and really engage. Take breaks, walks, etc., to keep your body and mind in flow. As the world gets more intense be ready with a well poised and centered self.

Challenging Character

You know, as I get more involved with people I notice more things that I never realized before. Do you remember that first date? It doesn’t matter if it was your very first or your first with that person, whether we know it or not, a show goes on. Then the second date we learn more and third and so on.. Is it that a person is really changing or are we getting to know the real them? How they process, think, what their perspective is, philosophy etc? Are they dramatic, energetic, dynamic, etc?

I often use my stomach more then anything when breaking down a good or bad relationship. Sometimes I ask the question “Does this feeling mean I want to know more or less?” “Why is it there?”

My grandpa once said to me that times don’t change people they were always that person inside. I never knew much at that age about what he said but the words stuck like glue in my head.

I don’t know if you can relate but this is a professional and personal struggle with me lately. I try really hard to just accept that someone I care about is really someone else. I have seen severe changes in the outside. Of course I always….always take my own inventory first. I am learning more and more about who I am and what is acceptable in and around my life. I think thats really important to know. The more I find the peace in the midst of things that confuse me right now the more my mind grows!

The big thing here is no matter how strong of a person or character you are/have, the outside affects you. The depth is up to you. Sometimes I feel that I have to be stronger in front of others or I have to look like I have it all together, and that is my own stuff getting in the way.

There is nothing better to me when getting to know someones character then humility, honesty, vulnerability and the genuine human side that says “I’m Real”. The true peace lies inside of the struggle sometimes and is wrapped in really bad packaging at times.

What I see more and more lately is amazing character standing out from the rest. I love it and crave it. The opportunity in this economy to meet someone who is doing their best, who cares about themselves AND others, who believe they can make it no matter what and who while having doubts and trials do their best and leave the rest are amazing. I know many of the connections I’ve made through Social Media, being out in Public, and just reaching out have blessed me more and more.

Today…more then any day challenge your character. Ask who you are and God gives you the answers. Be grateful for the ability to choose for yourself. You cannot be something you don’t decide to be. Right now people want you to reach out. It might be two tons of cold steel exterior but the inside is a human with a heart. Make it a game, break the seal give your absolute YOU and DECIDE what that is and live it. Thank you for reading!

Peace in the midst of the storm!

Wow! Today is the 17th day of September and life for me is moving quickly. I find that the more I acheive as time moves by the more I find myself in the middle of storms.

For me the storms consist of dramatic un-ease as I set the course of my day. Sometimes feeling tired or overwhelmed from the start instead of rested and recharged.

I vowed to myself, when I started blogging, that I would be transparent with all of you. That I would be extremely authentic and share the good stuff. I realize when writing something like this it is not always a good thing but here is a story about what I about peace in times of triumph.

For most of you who don’t know I have been going through a divorce for over a year now. The emotional and mental ups and downs are sometimes rather insane and like any emotional tear down trying to build in the midst is hard. I realize that divorce is a choice which is why it is weird when you feel drained and guilt starts to eat at you. I know in my heart that both of us will turn out better as it was a sea of unhappiness.

The worst part about divorce is that there is a series of guilt, frusteration, bitterness, financial mess, and emotional trial. I know that I have one place of energy and that each day I have to move forward through this life-changing ordeal. I have to be over-flowing with energy and start my day with more then most people.

As I have been moving through this, at a rather slow pace, I had to focus hard on everything. First the hurt that is caused, second making sure that my daughter feels as little as possible, and third knowing that my reasons are strong enough to carry me through.

The turning point came when I went to pick up my daughter one day and my soon to be ex wife left with my daughter. It was my daughters day with me and suddenly they were both not there. I called her cell phone but there was no answer. I thought “Maybe they just left for breakfast and will be back soon”. Then I thought “Maybe there was confusion in the days” and eventually I thought “Maybe my daughter was gone far away” and where do I begin?

As it turned out panic set in and the storm was coming. In the midst of my thought process I began to breathe and the first thing that came to mind was a crossroad. The point where whatever concerns I had were omitted by the inward hurt. What was most important became clear and finding my daughter and moving forward was my priority.

I don’t know what your experience is in these things but I am paralyzed typically by things like this. After several calls and tracing where my daughter and ex was the night before I found them. It turned out there was real intent in what had happened and that through it I had come to a peaceful conclusion that has helped me in moving forward.

I feel at times when my mind processes through times of extreme adversity that it is a gift from god. That the thought and pattern that comes into our hearts and minds at ideal moments are not always practical but do serve a greater good and provide peace when we actually look at them. To know when you have a line to tow regardless of circumstances, to find truth and balance when the storm is whirling is difficult to do but possible.

Take time to learn about where you are in the storm. It is not selfish to position yourself correctly and it is not selfish to serve your mind, heart and body in ways that contribute to inner peace. Our souls deserve peace and can be taken there regardless of outside circumstances.

Today, whatever storm you are in, embrace what you can control. Build forward momentum through peace and action and dedicate outside feelings elsewhere. Breathe and think through how the panic and worry actually help to serve you. I have learned it never changes the outcome. Only conscious thought and peace of mind can do that. And lastly be who you are. Learn to live with the fact that others will sometimes not be okay with it. As long as you are thats all that matters. Thanks for listening

Changing the Future…

Today is one of those days you realize what’s really important. Not the way everybody says it, but the deep part of who we are as human beings. The part of us that loves without condition and forgives the past.

Last night I was playing with my 4 year old daughter Ciera. The TV was off and there was no noise other then the joy in the room. She is growing up so quickly. I always joke with her that I want to put bricks on top of her head to keep her from growing so fast. In that particular moment without distraction I noticed so many things about her and me. I noticed that I loved her and adored her so much more then I already did. I noticed her laugh had changed a little and that she was having some real genuine fun. She looked a little taller and her face is changing a little. Her little eyes are getting even bluer and she is turning into a real full fledged little girl.

What I realized even more by this was that I am impacting her every day. The mood I’m in, the standards I set, the manners I teach, and most important my actions are being watched and deciphered at every moment by her. That if I love she will learn to love, that if I give she will learn to give, If I say please and thank you she will learn to do the same just seems amazing. I realized how big a responsibility I had to help secure a future that is full of possibility.

It might seem like such a small part at times. But as a parent I feel a huge responsibility to make sure that I am part of the solution to a better future. That as I look at days like today 8 years ago and see what different lessons can launch for the future, I know how important my role as a parent actually is. I am also learning how much my daughter really just wants dedicated time with me. Time without distraction whether it’s 15 minutes or more. Something she never tells me verbally.

I want to thank you and let everyone know that has been a part of my life that I appreciate you. I know that I get busy and may not say it enough. But if today were my last day here I’d want you to know. Thank you for the support and for just being a part of my life. Thank you for helping me change the future of what we do and for sharing this life of possibilities and determination.

I hope this is a day you invest time in someone you’ve been thinking about, that you mend a relationship, that you spend extra time without your cell phone on with your children or family. There is no better way to let others know how much you love and care for them and start events that can change our futures for the better!